Brighter than Sunshine

The ladder of mediocrity

2012-01-31T14:44:00.000+05:30

Julie is a regular high energy, talkative 7 year old girl. Sheloves school (except for the strict teachers and the homework) and she has lotsof friends. She loves swimming and playing with her golden haired labrador,Ceasar.

Julie and her parents stay with her grandparents for a monthevery summer. Julie loves these trips. Her grandparents have a sprawling twostoreyed house in a quiet suburb of the city. It’s a refreshing change from theconcrete jungle Julie lives in, and gives her and Ceasar lots of space to runaround and play.

One sunny Tuesday morning Julie is running around the gardenshed at the back of the house when she spies a new object. A ladder.

She eyes it curiously. It wasn’t there the last time she washere.

Then she brightens.

Now she can climb thewall of the garden with the ladder and see the world from the top! Wow! What awonderful idea! She gets really excited and tells Ceasar, “Look, Ceasar, aladder!” Now we can climb the wall and be on the top of the world.” Ceasarwoofs in return, wagging his tail in enthusiasm.

She runs towards it and looks at the highest rung, right ontop. It seemed so far away yet beckoning, like a huge tub of strawberry icecream, her all time favourite food. She grabs hold with one hand on either sideand puts one leg on the lowest rung. The ladder shivers in her hand, in responseto her weight. Julie hesitates. Maybe she shouldn’t be climbing the ladderwithout showing it to Mummy. Mummy had told her to be careful and to call herin case, she, Julie saw anything different or strange.

The next second Julie shook off the doubt. It was just aladder. Of course it was not a weird or a strange thing! And ladders are meantto be climbed, are they not? So that was precisely what Julie was going to do.

She puts her second leg on the lowest rung. The laddershivers again but stays in its place. Julie grins. “Look Ceasar, I’m climbingthe ladder!” Ceasar woofs again, wagging his tail vigourously. He seems excitedtoo.

Emboldened by her first step, Julie climbs two more. Now sheis a good 3 feet from the ground. Suddenly she hears her name.

“Julie! Where are you, child?” It was Grandma. “Where areyou? It’s lunchtime! I’ve made your favourite pasta.”

“Grandma!” Julie calls in return from the ladder. “Come andsee me! I’m going to the top of the world! Come and see!”

Soon Grandma comes in sight. She is startled to find Juliehalfway up her old rickety ladder. “Julie! What are you doing? That’s an oldladder, child. It can break any moment. Please get down from there.”

“But Grandma,” Julie protests, “it’s been great so far! Ithardly ever shook when I climbed it. And see how far I am from the ground! I’meven taller than you and Ceasar! Please, Grandma! There are only 4 steps to go.I will climb them quickly, sit on the top of the world for some time and comeback, ok?”

“Julie,“ Grandma sighs in exasperation, “It’s dangerousbecause it’s an old ladder. And who ever gave you the idea that when you climbit you will reach the top of the world? The ladder against a wall which istaller than the ladder, look! When you climb the ladder you are going to reachthe wall, that’s all. And the wall is really high. You will not be able to lookbeyond the wall, let alone the top of the world!”

As realization hits, Julie’s face falls. She sniffs as shegets down to the ground. “Oh, Grandma. I was so excited. Can I never reach thetop of the world?”

Grandma smiles fondly at the little girl. “Of course youcan, dear. It’s all in your mind. You can be at the top of the world right nowif you wish! Ok? Come on now, it’s getting late for lunch.”

---

Remember your first job? Or your first day in a new job? The adrenaline,the excitement, the enthusiasm to getsomewhere, do something? That is likeJulie finding the ladder.

Remember asking yourself if this is what you signedup for 3, 4, 5 or 10 years into Corporate life? Climbing an old rickety ladderin search of an unknown nirvana?Being sold the concept by the big bosses - that climbing the ladder ofmediocrity is the only way, because “whatelse is there to do, dude”? Fighting the daily petty squabbles ofwho-said-what-to-whom, who-wrote-what-mail, whose-boss-is-an-idiot,who-has-to-have-the-last-word? Realizing that the end of the ladder is justanother wall, which apart from banging your head on, is not useful for anythingelse?

Corporate life is like school uniform. It levels the playingfield so that the mediocre can function. Don’t climb the ladder of mediocrity. Create your own boundaries, your own limitations. Get to the top of your world. Not the top that some self confessed egomaniac defined to celebrate his smallness of mind. Go,get a Life.

Sheesh.

Freedom on Wheels

2011-12-03T17:33:00.001+05:30

My Reva Electric car celebrated its first birthday yesterday. It was on 2nd December 2010 that I became the proud owner of my first car, my road to liberation, my freedom on wheels - a Reva.

The Reva comes in upto 7200 colours apart from the 6 standard ones, including every conceivable shade of purple, my all time favourite colour. One would have to wait 6 weeks for those though. So I went with black, the eternally classic choice, and drove the car out of the showroom 2 days after test driving it.

The gear shift

One year and 5465 kms later, I couldn't be happier. I actually like to drive on the crazy roads everyday. Since I do upto 25 kms a day by just going to office and back, this liking is no infatuation or flash in the pan. Maybe it's because it's an automatic car, so I don't need to worry about releasing clutches and changing gears while squeezing between the BMTC bus and yet another meandering auto rickshaw. Maybe it's because it's so small, other car owners on the road can't help but go green with jealousy when I slowly but surely manoeuvre my car into the most impossible gaps in traffic (thumbs down, you SUV!) Or maybe it's the comfort of knowing that my bank account will not be victim to the biggest sucker of expenses after rent and eating out-petrol. My electricity bill has increased by 500 bucks, on account of charging my car. It runs for 60 kms per charge, and needs a maximum recharge time of 6 hours.

To my adorable car: thank you. For being easy to drive, light on the pocket and for being a great conversation starter!

Wise words

2011-11-22T23:24:00.001+05:30

It seemed that Alexander McCall Smith found me instead of my finding him. Or rather his book found me.

Where: Bookstore at Suvarnabhumi Airport, Bangkok, Thailand

When:Around 10pm local time

I had finished the book I was carrying in hand and was looking for something else to read. I also had some small change in Thai Baht to release, since coins would not be accepted for foreign exchange. Having read and thoroughly enjoyed his earlier book "The No 1 Ladies' Detective Agency", I picked up "The Forgotten Affairs of Youth" and promptly set out to read it.

What resulted was a pleasant, albeit long drawn journey into the beauty of simplicity. Aside from the story featuring a Isabel Dalhousie, a lovable philospoher-writer, the book was peppered with quotable quotes on life, most of them so simple but so bang on that I wondered more than once why it had not struck me! Here are a few gems:

Self doubt was a luxury, as perhaps, was the examined life. And yet the examined life, as the adage had it, was the only life worth living.

Don't write - or say - any more than you have to. Just don't.

Beauty - whether in nature, in art, or in music - was always ready to do its work; all we had to do was to open our hearts to it.

And I suppose that at the end of the day things are the way they are and we just have to accept them.

A Poem, by A A Milne, the creator of Winnie the Pooh, the Hundred Acre Wood and all the characters in it:

If Rabbit were bigger

And stronger than Tigger

Then Tigger's bad habit

Of bouncing on Rabbit

Would matter no longer

If Rabbit were stronger

I'm quite capable of tossing caution to the winds. It makes such an exhilarating sound, when you toss caution into the wind. It's a sort of whooshing..

There would be quite enough guilt in the future; being human, we all had our share, except for those who never felt guilty about anything because they had no idea why they should.

It was an exciting time, obviously. Everything was so fresh, so challenging. To be eighteen again!

- And to know, at eighteen, what one knows now.

That's what we all are at heart: love-struck teenagers. And every so often the love-struck teenager within emerged to remind us that love is quite as capable of turning our world upside down as it ever was.

That's why..

2011-11-21T17:48:00.002+05:30

Corporate culture does not promote the pursuit of excellence; it is designed to circumvent the pursuit. That's why consulting companies make so much money!

Fresh Air

2011-11-17T13:02:00.004+05:30

It's a precious commodity these days - fresh air. That's why Winter is my favourite Bangalore season.

It was 2 weeks ago when I felt the first signs of winter in Bangalore - the faint nip in the air after six in the evening, the gentle mist early in the morning, the extra bright sunshine (I think it has something to do with the air being thinner in winter than in summer but I don't have any scientific data to back the theory).

Winters in Bangalore remind me of bright colours and cosy evenings spent tucked in bed, reading. They make me think of hope, happiness and new beginnings. Maybe it has to do with the fact that it's almost the end of the year rather than the season. But when i drive to work every morning with my window open and music playing in my stereo I feel the teeniest surge of something nice and warm in my heart. That maybe things will look up, soon. That maybe everything is not as bad as it seems.

It feels like I have been holding my breath all this while and I have just let it out. What else can we ask from life other than to be happy? When I wake up in the morning there should be something, anything to look forward to that day. It's been a while since that happened. After getting first depressed and then stressed about it, I have now moved into "thoughtful" mode. Seasons come every year at around the same time, and they bring the same characteristics. Yet, there is always something uniquely different about them each year. It's like the sunset. If you ever have the grand luck of watching the sunset everyday you would realise that no one sunset is like the other. Yes, it comes everyday and finally the sun sets, but each time you watch it, it feels different. You can never get tired of watching it. I watched the sunset everyday from my room for 5 years, when I had the luck, and I never got tired.

Winter is here. So get out your jacket, walk on the roads at 8am (it's the most beautiful time of the day), and end the walk with a hot, piping coffee or cocoa drink at a cafe. Breathe in Bangalore at its quintessential best.

The Adjustment Bureau

2011-05-19T19:22:00.004+05:30

Slick, fast paced and compelling, The Adjustment Bureau is an absolute delight to watch. The film opens with David Morris (Matt Damon) preparing his concession speech as had run for the United States senate and lost. He meets Elise (Emily Blunt), a ballerina in the hotel bathroom and the two of them feel a strong connection. He then goes on to give an electrifying speech that pits him as a frontrunner for the next Senate Election.

What follows is a fast paced narration on the consequences of those who dare to challenge destiny. David wants to be with Elise, but his destiny is to be the President of the United States, without Elise. He is informed of this by a solemn looking man in a grey suit and hat. He is also informed that his destiny had been written and it was their duty to make sure he (David) followed it. David complies, leaving Elise abruptly. His campaign for Senate ramps up, with him in a clear lead. But they still bump into each other, accidentally. And this time they promise to never let each other go.

The film interweaves the alternate universe of the Adjustment Bureau, as the men are called with the regular world. The men at the Bureau put down the meeting between David and Elise to "chance". A slim ray of light in a destiny lined horizon. When David is accosted by the Bureau for trying to get back in touch with Elise, he objects "but my fate is determined by my choices, and I choose her!" It raises poignant questions about life and its queer twists and turns but without the gravity that is usually associated with these topics. And this is the most refreshing part of the movie. It comes off as an entertainer, first and foremost. The theory on destiny, fate, and choices enhance the story rather than drive it.

Matt Damon as David Norris and Emily Blunt as Elise are so natural it is almost real! The screen crackles with chemistry whenever they are in it. New York is shown in grim lines and connecting doors, which are an integral part of the story. All parts of this film have fallen into place perfectly, just like a jigsaw puzzle.

If "Inception" was a meal, then "The Adjustment Bureau" would be the desert. A must watch.

Handed to us on a platter

2011-04-11T23:41:00.004+05:30

You would never guess this one: Apart from architectural marvels, Persian influences, language, culture and religion, what is the all-pervading thing that we Indians have inherited from the Mughals?

Quoted from "The Crimson Throne" by Sudhir Kakar. A work of historical-fiction, the book has some interesting revelations about the Mughal period, most famously the transition of reign following Shah Jahan's rule, and Shah Jahan's sexual exploits.
Indians may be polite and friendly and possess other admirable personal qualities, but their public life is marred by sycophancy and corruption.. The rot starts, as it always does, at the top: as they say in France, 'A fish always starts smelling from the head.'
.. The voice of flattery pervades all ranks of society.

So that's what we have got in a platter from our ancestors of 5000 years - a tradition of sycophancy and corruption. While in the Mughal era words were the flowers people used to adorn their leaders, in today's world it is posters, rallies, plots of land, statues. We get full points for Innovation on the 'S' front.

If flattery is the coin of social discourse, then corruption is the currency of all transactions in the regime. This is easily evident in the number of words they have for a bribe in their language - dastoor, nazrana, baksheesh and so on. It is an established custom throughout the country that without the intercession of influential friends or the payment of bribes nothing gets done; even princes of royal blood cannot get their work done without some kind of payment.

So no one was above the Law of Corruption, it seemed. Very apt, even today. It is a well known fact that a common man looking to register a house, get a ration card, a driving license, a passport, a voter's id or even admission in school for his child, is required to grease all palms along the way. The rot is so deeply entrenched in the system that there is only one way to survive: by becoming a part of it.

Surprisingly, it is not the lack of good laws that is responsible for the state of affairs. If properly administered, the existing laws would render the Indies as eligible a residence as any nation in Europe. But of what use are good laws if they are not observed and when there is no possibility of observing them? The sole aim of governers of provinces appointed by the king is to amass as much wealth as they can in the time they have left in their appointments before they are removed by the whim of the monarch or the machinations of enemies at the court.

Nothing more needs to be said. If there was an award for "Best set of Laws ever written for a country" India would win it hands down. For a poverty stricken country torn by strife and turmoil in 1947, we had a clear set of heads at the cusp of independence and with them dreams of a better, better world. That we are far from being true to their letter is glaringly obvious.
But what can we do if it's in our genes, right? We can't just throw the errant chromosomes out of our system. Or can we?

Stare into space, chew over it. Or chew through the next person who dares to extend their hand out for unwarranted cash.

Kiddies' Class

2011-03-21T22:59:00.003+05:30

Like First Class, Business Class and Economy class, all airlines and trains in India should also have a Kiddies' Class - the class of travel of parents / adults with kids. This set of seats / set of coaches can be more spacious and brighter than the other coaches, with play area and child safe interiors.
As a parent if i can be guaranteed a safe and enjoyable journey for myself and my child(ren) either by train or flight because of such facilities, I will surely be willing to pay atleast 10% more than the current fare.
As a frequent traveller / traveller without children I would be guaranteed a quiet, peaceful journey during which i can catch up on my reading and sleeping. I would definitely be willing to pay atleast 10% more than the current fare for such a facility.

Travelling with children is not easy. As the popular joke goes, there are two classes of travel - one with children and one without! I am a successful survivor of an eventful 5 hour train journey with 3 hyperactive young girls, right next to me. Firstly I admire their energy levels - they reached new heights in consistency of performance, in this case, vocal volume. So much so that their high decibel comments, shrieks and playful banter are still echoing in my ears. Secondly, I admire the energy levels of the adults supervising them, who were also consistent and meticulous in trying to get them to pipe down. Needless to say they were barely successful.

Since I do not want to be a wet blanket and crib on what is otherwise considered a joy in one's life (in this case, children), I want to be constructive and suggest a solution. Kiddies' Class anyone?

Kaavalan: Odyssey of the Clueless

2011-03-13T19:24:00.004+05:30

I agreed to watch this movie on my dad's insistence - that this was 1) "different" from Vijay's other movies, and 2) his famous "comeback" movie.

15 minutes into it and I knew that nothing had changed. I watched Vijay beat up men twice his size and alternate between military man and lover boy while serenading the heroine (Asin in a pitifully dumb role). It turns out that along with Rajnikanth's punch dialogues and Kamal Hassan's on screen charisma, romantic sweet nothings between the underdog and the rich heiress never goes out of fashion. If not for the denims and the cellphones on screen, this could well have been a 1990s, 1980s or even a 1970s movie.

The music is the only high point. Contemporary, to the point and heart touchingly poignant at the right times, it props up the story and the dull scenes as much as it can, and much more. The songs are also hummable.

I know that Vijay and his movies do not cater to us, the urban, English speaking Tamil population. Stories do not make sense because they are not supposed to. The hero always wins, no matter what the odds. Size, skin colour, height and money make no difference to the inevitable happy ending. I know that in Vijay's world the hero and the heroine are young, college going innocents waiting for their true love, and they always will be young and innocent. In his world love is the indefinable feeling that overpowers you when you are not looking. And it always wins in the end.

As I watched the annoyingly predictable story unfold I could not help wondering if unlike Vijay's movies, I had lost my innocence too soon, too fast. Maybe life's ability to stay simple depends on our ability to simplify it.

Manmadan Ambu: The cracker that almost burst

2010-12-27T22:29:00.006+05:30

I walked into the cinema hall looking forward to light hearted entertainer. The good part is I got to see one. The bad part is this creation has some gaping holes that stay in your mind, like a bitter aftertaste.

The film begins on a high note, with dramatic entrances of the main stars (a stunning Trisha, an overweight Madhavan and the evergreen Kamal Hassan) and slick movement between scenes. Most of the story takes place in Europe, where Ambujakshi (played by Trisha), a top actress is holidaying with her school friend Deepa (played by Sangeetha) and Retired Major R. Mannar (Kamal Hassan) is spying on Trisha. The movie scores for its contemporary shades - Trisha holidaying with her school friend Deepa and Deepa's two children in Europe (in today's world, friends are like family), Kamal Hassan skypes with his friend whose chemo treatment he is raising funds for. Humour and drama interweave together comfortably.

The music is catchy and extremely hummable. I especially loved "Who's the Hero", the jazz-like tune which accompanies Kamal Hassan's entrance. It is a perfect integration of character, situation and background music. The cinematography is tight and makes clever use of metaphors to signify movement and mystery at key points of the story.

Trisha pitches in an understated performance which is demanded of her character. However in some scenes she lacks the fire and passion her character Ambujakshi (real name) aka Nisha (screen name) claims to espouse. Madhavan starts off with a bang and then proceeds to deteriorate steadily not only in sobreity but also in quality of performance. His character is a mess and he ends up looking like a bumbling fool who sets new standards for stupidity. Sangeetha is competent as Trisha's school friend Deepa and mother of two young children, bringing in just the right amount of pizazz and compassion without sounding like a wilting rose at one extreme or a bitter divorcee at the other. Vishwanath, Deepa's son's act is the only one which shines - from the curious child to the budding detective. My biggest regret is not seeing more of Usha Uthup, who plays Madhavan's mother. She is rivetting in the few scenes in which she appears to cooperate with her son's choice of life partner in Trisha but secretly conspires to separate them. The evil stepmother to the hilt, only that in this case she is the biological mother. Her role shows great promise but has been terribly shortened.

The build up after the second half pointed to a delectable comedy of errors involving all the lead actors, reminiscent of past works by Kamal like Magalir Mattum, Panchatantram, Sati Leelavati.. the list is quite long! Maybe it was the movie precedents or just great expectations, but the end petered out like a damp firecracker. Madhavan's eternally drunk act crossed from being endearing to being plain irritating. The romance between Kamal and Trisha was half baked and ratified by their staring into each other's eyes in the last scene.

MMA is definitely worth a watch. For the scintillating music, a gorgeous Trisha and for the promise of seeing Kamal Hassan in a role of the most endearing kind - the underdog with great strength of mind and body.

It's here!

2010-12-03T19:00:00.001+05:30

It was how you felt just before you got your final exam marks in school, or before entering that interview of your dream company in college. It's how you feel just before bungee jumping off a cliff, the fresh air brushing your cheeks while you take a deep breath and gather your courage.

Just imagine every one of these moments stretched to cover a much longer period of time, like 6 months or a year. There's life zipping past on its motorbike, and there's you on it, all set to tackle the speed, complete with goggles, helmet, black leather jacket and thumbs up sign. It's exhilerating, momentous, thrilling. Your mind is on overdrive at this time, absorbing events and people at twice its normal ability, if not more. In fact your brain is so much on overdrive that you need to lull it to sleep every night by counting sheep jumping over a fence or reading inane romances. Life is a 24 X 7 News ticker.

I've been at it for the past 9 months or so and I have only one thing to say about it: I'm lovin it!

Success

2010-11-21T03:08:00.001+05:30

There are some things success is not. It's not fame, it's not money or power. Success is waking up in the morning so excited about what you have to do, that you will really fly out the door. It's getting to work with people you love. Success is connecting with the world and making people feel. It's finding a way to bind together people who have nothing in common but a dream. It's falling asleep at night knowing that you did the best job you could. Success is joy, and freedom. And friendship. And success is love. - Fame (2010)

Go Kiss the World!

2010-10-05T11:05:00.003+05:30

Labonya Porva, mother of the author Subroto Bagchi told him to “Go kiss the World”, and that is exactly what he did. A story of a small town son of a government officer making it big, “Go Kiss the World” is sprinkled with gems of wisdom, albeit carefully strewn so as not to make the book too heavy in jargon or fundas.

The book is the story of an ordinary man who led an extraordinary life. The writing style is energetic and straight from the heart. One cannot help but live Subroto’s life along with him during the course of the narrative; from the material simplicity of his upbringing in interior Orissa, through the swerves and curves of his professional career and finally the enriching experience of creating MindTree, one of India’s Top IT companies. Along the way Subroto sprinkles his narratives with meaningful takeaways. Like nuts in a chocolate bar, they enhance the overall flavor of the book without dominating its easygoing tone. The author switches from the abstractly philosophical (“our lives are like rivers – the source seldom reveals the confluence”), to the tangibly businesslike (“…That rapid growth had to be managed carefully because, as Peter Drucker has said, all growth can be inherently destructive”) with natural ease.

However, the discerning reader might detect a simplistic approach to the writing. It seems that all the experiences passed the author by, with decisions taken and paths changed at the appropriate time without much effort. Some incidents, like when the author was setting up MindTree’s US office in the early days lack the intensity of struggle and the associated pressure. These emotions and the atmosphere which could have defined the outcome, as well as its influence in the author’s life are missing from the narrative.

For young working professionals, the book has parts which will appeal to those at various stages of their careers. The ones struggling to find their foothold can take heart in the thought that everyone faces crossroads in their lives. The important thing is to make the right decision at each crossroad. The ones who have their dream job and consider themselves arrived in the corporate scene may not be surprised if what they valued today suddenly seems immaterial tomorrow. The book ends with a chapter summarizing key points - a useful trend followed by most non-fiction/business oriented books today.

All in all, an enjoyable read. As you close the book on its last page you are left with the fleeting impression that success is not uni-dimensional, it has layers and is defined by the person who is experiencing it. Then again, all success stories have happy endings. Maybe that is why most of them become books.

It's complicated!

2010-09-23T21:46:00.003+05:30

I guess that is what a lot of people will say about life. At one point in time, I might have agreed. But some telling experiences later, I can safely say that 1) Life can definitely be simple 2) A simple life definitely rocks!

Maybe I have been just plain lucky, but I have always been able to remove the people causing complications in my life out of my orbit. It might not have happened immediately but there has always been a distinct change in the presence of such events or people in my life. So if they were around earlier, well, they no longer are.

KITES: Ew!!

2010-07-03T23:43:00.002+05:30

The first thought that crossed my mind halfway through this movie was: Thank God I did not watch it in the big screen! In the comfort of my sofa at home and with other channels to flip to on the TV, Kites was bearable at best.

First off, while it is an accepted fact that it takes hard work to make a good movie, Kites demonstrates that it takes a spectacular effort to make a bad one as well. Starting with the name. Kites?? What is the relation to the story? I didn't get it. The most credible reason is of course, that it starts with "K". Well, so does "Katastrophe". And that might have been more apt.

Then the plot, or the lack of it. The first 30 minutes was interesting. The rest is eminently forgettable. The lead pair is lovey-dovey one minute, and running for their lives the next. People appear and disappear on screen like apparitions. The editing is tacky, with connections between some scenes missing, leaving you clueless for a minute or so. Only one song is worth mentioning: Zindagi, do pal ki.

Even the action scenes are sad. Fake, stage-set and ekdum thanda. Finally, since I am neither in love with Hrithik nor Barbara Mori, I was not moved by all those tantalizing close ups of their faces, striking as they are. Some more screen time on the story at large would have definitely helped.

If this movie was screened to international audiences and dubbed as a "crossover" movie because it was shot in US/Mexico and had a Spanish-speaking lead actor, I would be ashamed to acknowledge the Indian part of it.

Take it or leave it

2010-05-17T00:43:00.002+05:30

An article in the Speaking Tree last Sunday spoke about equanimity. The context was that of emotion. It said that all of us want happiness, but without the sadness; joy, but without the sorrow. The essence of emotion is that everything comes in pairs. The balance of this pair causes equanimity in our lives. If you want happiness, you must be prepared to undergo some measure of sadness. Alternatively, without sadness we cannot appreciate happiness as an elevated state of emotion. Same goes for joy or satisfaction. Either we accept that circumstances come in pairs, or we live in equanimity-without either emotion.
On a personal level, this article took me back to the basics, so to speak. A few years ago, in a particularly emotional time, I swore to myself that I would detach from human relationships rather than get involved in them. The pain they caused did not seem worth the intermittent happiness. In time I realised that it was not so easy; it seemed far easier to love and get hurt than to not love at all. And what is life without emotion? It's like watching a movie without sound or eating food without salt. If Life was a fruit, emotion would be the juice that dribbled down your chin as you bit into it. It is an intrinsic part of living. Without emotion there is no life.
Take it or leave it.

Motichoor ke Laddu

2010-04-17T11:39:00.002+05:30

Partly because I have a sweet tooth, partly because motichoor ke laddu is one of my all-time favourites and partly because what I'm about to blog is something I wouldn't want to forget anytime soon, I have the named the post so.

It's been a while since i put the finger to the keyboard "for the blogging purpose" (inspiration for the use of this phrase to be revealed in a while) so I'm thrilled to have finally got inspired. After nearly a month, the perfect motis (pearls) are just popping out of the keyboard, it seems. So here goes.

Friends are my strongest link to sanity. Truly. In my world there are currently 2 people - Me and the Rest of Them. That's what it feels like most of the time - like I'm fighting a lone battle with the rest of the world. It's those gtalk chats and phone calls stolen during work hours, the SMS rallies in the middle of the night, the occasional but raucous dinners in swanky restaurants in the city and the even more occasional surprise cross-continental calls, that make it all worth the while.

College life is now this distant memory, almost like as if it happened in another life. The world seemed so much simpler then, almost like a toy world. Things were either black, or white, or any other colour which someone seemed to have figured out and told me.Barely a year into the corporate world and I find my settings changing hues so rapidly, I feel stunned and clueless most of the time. Far from being able to share my true feelings, I have to contend with having to figure it out on my own. It's a dog eat dog world. Nothing is what it seems. At last I understand what these phrases mean!

As I quoted to someone recently, "it was the best of times and the worst of times". An oft repeated quote by a senior guy at work, I find it to be quite apt to describe my current state of life. I can safely say that I am leading a very exciting life currently. Hundreds of new things happening every day, tons of learning to be done, decisions to be taken, impressions to be made.. it seems that 24 hours are just not enough! Sometimes better gets better; sometimes worse gets worse. The peaks are as stark as the troughs in this sine wave. Neverthless, I know that twenty-odd years later I will look back at these times and say "Those were the days."

Me and My Nike

2010-03-04T23:20:00.003+05:30

Through the last 6 months, I've faced some trying times, exhausting times and seemingly never-ending times. This post is a tribute to a silent but constant companion, having been the proverbial dependable shoulder whenever required and therefore now having become an inseparable part of my daily life.

My Nike.

I walked into a Nike showroom to replace my worn pair of shoes (not Nike). I was just starting on an assignment that required me to be on my feet the whole day. That meant upto 8 hours of standing and upto 6 hours of continuous walking. And yes, I do get paid for it :P

I knew I had to be suitably armed. What I was not armed for however, was the price tag that "the" shoe came with. It fit like a glove and cushioned my feet. In short, it was perfect. Except for the cost. No prizes for guessing the outcome though. I parted with a cool five digit sum and bought the pair.

My friends reacted with "Ew, it's flourescent yellow! Didn't you get any other colour?"

I was resigned to wearing it, reactions notwithstanding. Irrespective of weather, trouser colour and day of the week. And the funny part is, it went quite decently with most of my clothes. As luck would have it, my work took me to many shoe outlets and my choice of footwear has worked in my favour many a time :)

Six months later, the only change in me from using Nike is weight loss. My feet were.. still around, despite the insane amount of walking I had done. In shape, fresh as a flower and stout as ever.

I owe it to My Nike.

I want to

2010-02-18T20:47:00.004+05:30

1. I want to get up every morning and look forward to going to work
2. I want to spend a day off without answering the phone or checking email even once
3. I want to watch a movie without getting emotionally involved with it :P
4. I want to spend one hour each reading newspaper and other sundry stuff, everyday
5. I want to live near the sea so that I can watch the sun rise every morning and end the day with a walk along the beach
6. I want to visit all the places where I have friends, just to relive old times
7. I want to recall all the songs I learnt since I was introduced to music
8. I want to lower my expectations from myself. The disappointment is killing sometimes
9. I want to stand up for myself, once in a while

Margazhi

2009-12-30T11:57:00.004+05:30

Margazhi is the Tamil month that begins in the middle of December. The beginning of the Madras Music Season, when even the otherwise difficult weather co-operates, with cool breeze and just-warm-enough sunshine. I was fortunate to be a part of it for 2 days, and those 2 days were one of the best I've had in a long, long time. Great weather, an air of festivity and above all, fantastic music. An out of the world experience.

Although Bangalore is where home (and therefore the heart) is, Chennai as a city has a unique energy to it. You can see it in the wide pothole-free roads, tasteful buildings and umpteen saree and jewelry shops, and you can feel it in the cultural events and happenings. It is elegance and beauty, borne out of years of perfection and adaption to changing times but without losing touch with history and tradition. Chennai is the uncrowned cultural capital of South India, and is at its most beautiful in December.

As quoted by S Ramadorai, Vice Chairman, TCS, 10 things to do in Chennai during the music festival season:

1. Visit Sampradaya music library which has 7,000 hours of music from the great masters, old and rare books, photographs and gramophone records.
2. Go to Ayodhya Mandapam in Mambalam, sit on the floor and listen to religious discourse which blends humorous storytelling of the epics with songs.
3. Get up early and join the bhajan groups marching to the temple; make sure to sing a song at the temple; get pongal as reward.
4. Go to the house of your favourite film star and have a photo taken of you with him or her; all stars employ photographers for the purpose.
5. Don’t fret if your favourite star is out for a shooting. Go to Marina Beach and take a photo with the star’s life-size cutout.
6. Eat chilli bajji at Santhome; drink filter coffee anywhere.
7. Eat “full meals” on a plantain leaf.
8. Spend Christmas at the church on St. Thomas Mount, where the Apostle Thomas was killed in the First Century; also, visit Santhome Church where his body was buried for some time.
9. Shop at Ranganathan Street for trinkets; Nalli Silks for Kanjivarams; Usman Road for jewellery.
10. Have your fortune told by a hawker’s parakeet.

So I have my task cut out for my next visit :)

States

2009-12-18T12:28:00.001+05:30

Sometimes I can't help feeling that Life is like a badly constructed Indian road. Potholes all over the place, steep bends and humps at the wrong places, mad and noisy traffic.

Unlike for the Indian road, I know there would be no fun if we were warned of happiness or calamity before it hits. Though it would definitely help to be prepared. It's ironic, all these phases. You don't enjoy them - the periods of anticipation, confusion, lack of clarity. But it gives your mind something to chew on, and to create infinite possibilities. When you reach the end of the road and the fog clears, you actually miss the excitement! It's a roller coaster ride, this one.

I guess the thing to remember is not what happens, but what you make out of what happens.

2009-09-11T18:29:00.002+05:30

Someone wise once told me that if we focus our efforts in giving our best shot at all that we do, the results will show for themselves. I understand now that for a 16 year old writing THE all important board exam along with thousands of others, it was great advice. Because then, everyone is judged by the same yardstick. Everyone was doing the same 5 or 6 things, reading the same 10 or 11 books.

Now, some x years later, I realize I have been hanging on to advice that should have been left behind, along with board exams and school. Because in the real world, everyone is not doing the same thing. Everyone is working at chipping away their own and unique bit of rock, hoping to hit the jackpot. Or is that why they are hitting the rock?

Everything is not simply black or simply white it seems. Most of the time I know exactly where I am and exactly where I will be. But sometimes when this neat scheme is given a hard shake and all the colours flow into each other, flowing and mixing, I get shaken too. Sometimes I succeed in making sense of the mayhem; sometimes I don’t.

It’s agonizing, this intermittent dip into blur-dom.

Watch it!

2009-07-27T15:58:00.005+05:30

I never thought I would be blogging about a watch I bought (!) but sometimes you have to put your money where your mouth is :P So here goes..

All that guilt about not contributing to society (top 1% of the youth in the country who has had the privileged access to premium education and all that) can actually be assuaged by buying a watch - do you believe it? Atleast that's what I felt when I first saw the watches on the Titan website. And one particular watch caught my eye - the Red Panda.

The Red Panda, also called the Firefox, is native to the Himalayas, ranging from Nepal to west of China (thanks to wikipedia for the info). It is also found in Northern India, Bhutana and Myanmar. The Red Panda's diet consists mainly of Bamboo. It is hunted for its fur, and its lush bush tail which is used to make hats. It is an endangered species today, protected by laws in all the countries where it lives. Hunting it is illegal.

In my case it was the cart pulling the horse, if you know what I mean. I saw the watch before I knew about the animal:
What a beautiful creature, I thought. And the watch, with its rich brown leather strap and golden casing seemed to enhance its beauty. I bought the watch.

And every time someone remarks on my watch (it's usually: "Oh wow! What a beautiful watch!") :)) I tell them: "This is the Red Panda. It's native to the Himalayas.. "
My 2 cents.

Is it true?

2009-07-08T14:09:00.002+05:30

Last Sunday (5 July 2009) the Times of India supplement Times Life! (can be accessed through: http://epaper.timesofindia.com) carried an article that in a sense answered the questions I raised in one of previous posts Being Indian to the Rest of the World. This article is titled “Why are Indians targeted?” and using the recent attacks on Indian students in Australia as a backdrop, it tries to answer why Indians living abroad seem to be targets for hate/racial crimes than other immigrant minorities.

From a personal viewpoint, being an Indian in a foreign country has its advantages and drawbacks. The advantage is the familiarity that locals and others in the country have with ours thanks to the predecessors. It makes it easier to mix and get along, for us and for the locals. The drawback is that the Indian visitors before us have left some impression on them, and in most cases we have no idea what it is. We are simply the recipient of their behaviour that has resulted from this impression. Sometimes, this impression is not a good one.

The article mentions that although Indians are admired for their brains, looks and in some cases money, we are despised for showing off shiny gadgets, playing loud music and talking in our native tongue in public. In short, we Indians wear our culture on our sleeve. Indians do not make any effort to assimilate into their culture, preferring to “herd” with other Indians.

Of course, there is nothing wrong in being connected to our culture. In fact, there is every reason to be proud that young Indians despite being exposed to the various other cultures and globalization are balancing their culture with living in the modern world admirably. I would say that our mature sensibilities and conflict management skills are a natural result of growing up in the mela that is India :-) So the thought here is, maybe we are just being too loud about it.

Airtel Broadband, I Miss You! :-(

2009-05-29T18:26:00.000+05:30

There was a time when Internet Connectivity was so seamless and consistent that it was taken for granted. That was the time of Airtel Broadband, where wireless meant what it should: connect to the Internet without the hassle of complicated wiring and also have the benefit of high speed.

Alas, those times are past. Now Internet Connectivity hinges on the whims and fancies of the little green dot below the words "Internet", written on a piece of plastic that has a strking resemblance to a Wireless Modem. Where I have recently moved to is BSNL Rajya. Illi Airtel baralla Saar!! (No Airtel here Saar!) Like the famed Three Kings of Orient following the Star, Three Musketeers in dull blues and greys landed up a week ago, presumably to give us "Wireless Internet Connection". Ten days later, I don't know what is more frustrating - having IP Address clashes (more than one system having the same IP address - ??) or the shutdowns that happen anytime, but everyday without fail.

In the event of the life changing event of a shutdown, all feet head towards the hallowed platform of the "Window to the World" a.k.a. BSNL's Wireless Modem in the house and all eyes swivel to the little green dot. OMG!! It's blinking rapidly! Must be the time for the nth Chai break of the day at the BSNL Office.

I'm getting really bugged. Having been forced to type this post out in a notepad, I can only pray that it will see the light of day. God willing. Oops, BSNL willing.

A piece of advice for Deepika Padukone - the brand ambassador for BSNL, with her beautiful face and winning smile plastered on every possible road and billboard in Bangalore: do you really want to be associated with such an inferior product? My dire prediction is that it has the power to knock a huge chunk off your brand equity.

Being Indian to the Rest of the World

2009-05-19T17:52:00.007+05:30

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this post are from personal experience and may sound myopic, insecure and downright wrong. Still, they are based on experiences and I am writing about it, hoping that it will ease the discontent that has been nagging me for quite some time now.

I recently returned from a family holiday to the African sub-continent (name of country withheld for personal security reasons :P). I had a great time and unforgettable memories were created. Nevertheless, certain behaviour that I observed from tourists and locals alike along with past experiences in other countries (in other continents) have prompted me to write this post.

What does being Indian mean to the global tourism industry? Do hotel staff and tourist guides enjoy extending their hospitality to Indians? Do people like Indian tourists??

My experience says: not really.

For the record, all those stories about being as squeaky clean when abroad as aloof and dirty when home are definitely true. But we are also thrifty to the point of being miserly – we tip grudgingly and never make impulsive purchases. And of course, we bargain to the last bone if price negotiation is even remotely prompted.

Now the logical question is: is tourism only about money? Isn’t it also about appreciating the local culture and respecting the country’s rules?

The answer: Of course money isn’t everything. But which other tourist doesn’t appreciate the local culture and the country’s rules? Money is the bottomline, at the end of the day.

Self-bashing aside, I don’t think any of what has been mentioned above is worth being shameful about. We are all the product of our respective environments, and there is no contesting that the environment in which we Indians grow up is one of the most complex in the world. That makes us natural adapters to change (as our large expatriate population justifies) and excellent at conflict resolution. But I digress.

The result of this Indian tourist stereotype is the step-motherly treatment that we are privy to. Watch for it: the airhostess in the international flight is all smiles for the Westerner sitting beside you but barely spares you a glance. (Note: Western tourists also travel in Economy class!) The shop owner in the souvenir shop trails behind the American couple but ignores you completely.

It rankles, obviously. But it's not going to stop us from travelling the world, of course :)

My Cubbyholes

2009-04-15T22:24:00.017+05:30

This post is dedicated to all those (tiny) hostel rooms - my home through 4 years in Pilani and 2 in Mumbai. Too late, I realise I don't have snaps of them :( so the eye is the camera and the mind (heart?) the film..

It always started out with a clean slate - the previous occupants moved out before I moved in. I remember the feeling of an empty room waiting for a new chapter in its story - shafts of light entering through the dusty windows, footsteps and voices bouncing off the walls to echo around the space.
In time this space becomes "home", the shelter from the rest of the world, the shelter for my world(-ly possessions). It becomes cosy, inviting and familiar.

I will always miss...
In Pilani:

Peacocks' cry outside the balcony
Weekly spring cleaning :)
Book shelf on the wall
Movie sessions in the dark with the amazing CREATIVE speakers and with junta sitting on every available surface
Trunk turned table-top, complete with table cloth and customized dressing table
Treasure trove under the bed :D (resting place of dirty clothes, footwear et al)
Steel almirah that screeched in protest everytime it was opened!
Nylon strings that made it easy to hang clothes but earned our room the title "Dhobi Ghat" (2nd year!)
Our very own personal courtyard - to watch the rain pattering down, to enjoy the weather (the few times it was pleasant), to celebrate birthday parties or to simply go crazy (2nd year again)
The Mirror which made everyone look better than they actually looked (as quoted by several grateful recipients of my mirror's service! :P)
Gate calls (which drastically reduced in number thanks to mobile phones by the time I graduated)
Wing parties (usually starting late in the night and ending even later!)

In Mumbai:

Non-matching curtains (red and orange against an off-white wall) :P
Table overflowing with newspaper, books and clothes
Pleasant smell that greets when you enter the room at the end of a tiring day
Personalized dressing table on the lowest shelf of the wooden rack
Makeshift shoe stand at one corner of the room
Complex wiring system which brought LAN connection and power from one end of the room right to the bed (courtesy my roommate - an ECE engineer from NIT-Trichy, no less :-) )
The shrill bell (signalling the arrival of someone's food mostly)
The "dynamic" phone network (Have to stand in a particular spot in the room with the phone in a particular angle to be able to catch the signal)

@Whoever reads this: feel free to add to the list!

What's happening?

2009-03-29T15:05:00.006+05:30

I am finally able to express the mish-mash of emotions that I have been going through since last Thursday - it's what you feel when someone tries to pull the ground from under your feet.

First you're increduous: "what the hell is happening?" Then you try to resist: "Stop! Let me be!" Then you're scared: "This is not going to stop, is it?" Then you panic: "What am I going to stand on now?"

Am I ready for this? Do I want to be ready for this? Leave student life forever? Become a "responsible adult"? :P

Institutionalization

2009-03-17T12:51:00.009+05:30

I first heard this term as a part of a team for Cactus Flower, the annual campus magazine in Pilani. The thought was that after four years in a protected and as-close-to-ideal environment as Pilani, one feels lost, a sense of rootlessness when one has to leave it for the Big Bad World. Somehow it didn't happen to me then.

But now it has. In a different place. At a different time.

Imagine being in the most vibrant city in India, and that too in a killer location (stretch your hand and you can touch the mall, the cinema, the beach and umpteen good restaurants of all budgets and cuisines). Over the past year the mind and stomach have attuned to being within the hallowed portals of our residence before the evil hour of 11pm. Now, either over alacrity at the prospect of us leaving in less than a month or in a desperate attempt to assert that they are human after all, the powers that be have graciously allowed a 30 minute extension. Oh!

(Cup mouth with hands as the eyes sting with tears. Hug those at the left and the right. Recover just in time to flash a perfect smile with perfect, white gleaming teeth. Mouth "Thank you, thank you" a number of times. Look dazed and poised at the same time.)

Right.

Now that it has been dispensed with, what do I do with these extra 30 minutes? What do people do between 11pm and 11.30pm in Mumbai, the commercial capital, the fashion capital, the city that never sleeps? I have not thought about it in over one and a half years. And suddenly, I feel like I am standing in front of this whirlpool and it is sucking me in.

P.S. One movie that comes to mind is Shawshank Redemption. Not very encouraging but it would have to do :P

Who am I?

2009-03-09T12:54:00.009+05:30

An article I read in mint prompted me to write this post.

The author expresses an inability to defend why the notions of "Indian Culture" as espoused by Sri Ram Sene and Shiv Sena are wrong or misguided. She feels that if we, the common (wo)man, as a polity define Indian culture through a set of qualities or adjectives then that will make us more equipped to deal with such "fundamentalist" behaviour. Predictably enough, "Indian culture" does not have a universal definition, and any attempt to create one will stymie its natural evolutionary process and in a perverse way, serve the fundamentalists' cause.

I must confess that the article prompted me to ask myself how connected I felt I was to Indian culture. My immediate reaction was that a person whose upbringing and background were more traditional than mine has more authority on the topic. But then, I am not any lesser an Indian than the next person. I might think in English and have my "roots" in a city that no longer knows what it stands for but what the heck, I wouldn't feel so at home anywhere else.

We are the moderate majority, but we are also the fringe elements. Educated and qualified, we would rather spend our lives earning money and moving up on the income strata than making the country a better place to live in. As champions of the private enterprise, we consider the public sector and the government as a necessary evil. It's been this way for generations now. We are very happy in the cocoons of our lives, going to work, coming back to family, planning for the next big holiday or the next house or car. Who wants to tell a bunch of hooligans what Indian culture means to us? We have better things to do.

Don't Quit

2009-02-27T00:25:00.003+05:30

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
when the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but do not quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow—
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
Don't know who wrote it. Quoted from: http://www.collegegrad.com/jobsearch/Graduation-and-Still-No-Job/Dont-Quit/

A good home or a good road?

2009-02-25T02:46:00.004+05:30

At first glance, the answer to the question seems obvious: Would you rather have a nice big house or a smooth pothole-free road? The house, of course!

What with the economic downturn, private sector jobs are drying up. The Indian Governemnt, on the other hand, doesn't seem to be in the least bothered about this development, atleast as far as recruitment is concerned.

As part of a generation that looked down upon PSU jobs as stodgy file-pushing and intellectually insulting (as compared to the better-paying and challenging private sector jobs), this development raises uncomfortable questions. With campus placements round the corner, three magic words are being bandied around - Sixth Pay Commission: the manna from heaven, the bright spot that makes it look less of a compromise than it actually is, and the plaintive reason for accepting a job in a PSU. (The real reason is: there isn't any other, baby!)

Now, all that money for the hike has to come from somewhere, right? And it doesn't require a genius to see that the governement is not richer this year than last year. Neither will it dare to touch the "Social Sector" budget - yup, the same one for which the CAG has mentioned that the governement has not used upto Rs.33000 crore of funds from international agencies for social development. So that leaves us with the next biggest: the Infrastructure Fund.

Stop constructing that flyover and let's re-lay this road next year instead of this year. We are the Government. We care for you, the aam aadmi. See how we are paying you more?

I strongly feel that the Pay Commission revision should be made performance-based. The PSU can be measured on a number of parameters: increase in revenue, customer/client feedback, employee satisfaction etc. The appraisal process can be conducted by an independent party and the pay hike will depend on the individual performance. I'm sure my solution is far from paractical and is riddled with problems, but what with the brightest minds joining PSUs today, some might actually end up staying and becoming much-needed change agents.

Hail PSUs!

Slumdog Millionaire

2009-02-07T14:54:00.006+05:30

My first reaction on hearing that this movie has been nominated for 9? 10? Oscars was: "Oh."
Something like what you would say when you looked at the clear sky in the morning but heard the steady drizzle grow into a thundering downpour by 4 in the afternoon. In this case a typical reaction would be to stare out the window at the rain for around 5 minutes and then get back to
whatever it is you were doing. That is precisely what I did.

I don't think it shows India in a bad light or glamourizes poverty. In fact it is a very realistic potrayal of a set of people who have to constantly watch their backs and for whom surviving each day is the biggest challenge.

I also don't think an Indian director could have done justice to this story. Not because Indian directors are not good enough (as is mostly assumed) but because as an Indian, having grown up seeing luxury and poverty across the road from each other, his view would be biased. The view portrayed in the movie looked real because it was objective. It is the view you get when you see it for what it is, without any "baggage". If an Indian was to make a movie on the American life/way of living I'm sure he would do a great job.

I also didn't see what was there for it to merit all those Oscar nominations. I guess that is because we are used to watching Indian movies that are high on drama and emotion. It is well-made, no doubt, but not too different from the mainstream movies in terms of masala.

Sometimes I am tempted to spout a theory about a conspiracy to get the world to talk about India. First Arvind Adiga's "White Tiger" and then this. Remember the theory of how countries which the cosmetics giants view as potential markets win the beauty pageants? I can imagine a similar exercise being conducted to identify how India is different from the rest of the world: so you list all the "Points of Differentiation" and then you see which one can give us competitive advantage. No prizes for guessing what topped this list: poverty and the grit of the people condemned to live with it.

But then this would be a self-destructing hypothesis right? More attention => more business => more development => get richer => eliminate poverty => left with no point of differentiation
As a last word, so long as we are benefiting from it (economically) as a country, I have no objections at all.

Laughing stock

2008-12-05T01:50:00.008+05:30

The best example for a foot-in-the-mouth syndrome is the Indian politician.

When a journalist is shot while travelling in her car at 2am in Delhi, Chief Minister Shiela Dixit says that she should have been more careful and not been out alone at such an ungodly hour.
When incidents of women call centre employees being abducted and raped when being picked up by "their company taxis" late in the night surface, the Karnataka government banned women from working in establishments after 8pm, a rule which was thankfully revoked later.
Maharashtra Home Minister R R Patil calls the latest terror attacks in Mumbai, which are by far the most lethal, a "small incident which is bound to happen in big cities like Mumbai"

While these misplaced comments might be amusing, they also throw up some disturbing indications about our political leadership (or the lack of it). Sychophancy and bureaucratic procedures are the rule of the day. Indeed, when keeping your post depends on which politician's leg you massage rather than actual "work", no politician expects to be voted back in office for doing his duty with sincerity and conviction for the welfare of the citizens when the real path to power lies in the hands of his superior.
We in India are tuned to apathy when there is anything to do with politics. Who wants to get into that muck? is the common question. There is so much filth in the government system that even 100 years of cleaning will not rid it of its filth. Might as well drop that and go clean the Ganges instead.

Just desserts

2008-11-09T00:23:00.004+05:30

Jug Suraiya's article in the TOI today resonated with my views and prompted this post.
He writes about two politicians who couldn't be more different from each other: Barack Obama and Raj Thakeray. While the former, he says, stands for "togetherness", the latter stands for "otherness" or alienation. As he says, people get the politicians they deserve. We as a people have shown apathy and cynicism in ample measure:

Who cares whether I vote or not, these elections are always rigged anyway!
Why should I bother not to litter/jump signals/bribe officials when everyone else does it?

The day we become responsible citizens, we will elect a true leader to govern us.

The White Tiger

2008-10-28T21:30:00.008+05:30

My curiousity about this book was first aroused, predictably enough, when it won the Man Booker Prize. I have read both positive and negative comments on the book, the most striking of them being "How can a page turner like this win a Booker?"
Sad, but true. Page turners sell the most but are the bottom of the heap, relegated to airport terminals and the occasional reader who picks up a book when all other timepass options have been exhausted. Which brings me to: What does winning a Booker tell you about the book, anyway? As the saying goes, one man's nectar is another's poison.
But I digress. This post is about the book, not what it won.

For a non-Indian, the book may be a revelation: Yes, there is an India beyond the traffic clogged roads, the spanking new and tall buildings coming up at an amazing pace (Wish I could say the same for the flyovers and the Bangalore metro!) and the 9% GDP growth. And yes, it's not pretty at all.

For an Indian, it puts to words all the emotions of this other India, the majority India. Mass migration, urbanization, poverty.. the list goes on and on. There are people who accept their fate and spend their lives pulling rickshaws or selling vegetables, and there are people who will not.

To make a point effectively, we have to provide a stark example. Hence the book takes us to one of the places in India where this poor man-rich man difference is as stark as black and white: Rajasthan. Replace the 'Laxmangarh' with a 'Lakhansipur' in UP or a 'Daulatpur' in Bihar and the story could be the same. The poor man is the good guy-turned bad, and the rich guy, when not being cruel or downright arrogant, is confused and utterly lost.
I bet we can write an equally good book on exactly the opposite happening in India: How a good rich man becomes poor and becomes bad, or how a bad poor man becomes good and therefore becomes rich.
One swallow does not a spring make.
Also, I don't think the book speaks of anything that we should be ashamed of as Indians. Indeed, there is an abundance of literature on this topic, but not all of it has won the Man Booker of course, for various reasons. TOI's India Poised campaign was based on it. Shashi Tharoor has talked about it in India: From Midnight to the Millennium. So do, I suspect, Gurcharan Das in India Unbound and Ramachandra Guha in India After Gandhi.
Read it, it'll help you pass a boring weekend afternoon.

Unearthing what is real

2008-09-04T15:57:00.003+05:30

It is often said that a person's true character comes out in testing times. We had a tough week recently, and I must admit that the statement rang true. But according to me that is not the major issue. In my opinion, it doesn't take long to find out/predict the reaction of a person to a situation if you have some time with them, either as a part of work or otherwise.
What I was surprised about was the number of people who displayed double standards. Looking outwardly disappointed (and crying - the whole hog, basically) but inwardly rejoicing at their victory, even if it was at the cost of another's loss. Saying something and then doing something completely different. The list goes on and on.
My question is: why is the fake quotient so high today? Is it such a crime, being normal, with faults and opinions that are not popular?
Worse still, how do you remain genuine in this false world? I can't help thinking that the world is like a 5-star hotel. All glitzy, bright and happy on the outside, but delve deeper and you enter dingy and dirty alleyways, buried with secrets and shame.
There are enough and more examples of people getting what they wanted by crooked ways. As the one refusing to compromie on "morals" and "values", you are the loser. Yeah, it is true that at the end of the day you have a clear conscience and are the "true" winner, but sometimes I wonder, are we being too idealistic? There is much to learn, and much to unearth: what is the real real?

Whizzing past

2008-07-23T02:26:00.004+05:30

Yup, that's life as it is now. A million things to do and only 24 hours to do them all. It's exhausting and exhilerating at the same time. Never have my multi-tasking abilities been put to such stringent test (Well, yes, I solemnly claim to possess multi-tasking abilities :-) )
Right now I am gazing up at the high branches of the trees in the orchard, trying to distinguish the sweet grapes from the sour. Man, am I confused or what??
Needless to say, my sleep patterns have been completely obliterated in the past year. Now I can sleep anywhere, anytime, because I always have some of it to catch up on!

Doormat

2008-06-30T17:10:00.002+05:30

You know that you have been treated like a doormat when:

You go out of your way to help A and then A yells at you for not doing enough
You stay up nights looking for a solution to B's problem (which has nothing to do with you)
Even after clear cut job allocation of a project has been done you spend more than an hour collating the findings and formatting the report (which was actually C's job, but C is 'too tired to work')
At the end of all the fracas you are the most stressed, the most irritated, and you have worked the most

When will I learn??

Why?

2008-06-08T00:51:00.004+05:30

One might remember that this was a question that we all asked most frequently as kids: Why?

---
"No, you cannot have that chocolate."
"Why?"
---
"Look, the sea is so big and blue. Beautiful, no?"
"Why is it blue? And big?"
---
"You are a big girl now. You will be going to school soon."
"What is school? Why should I go?"
---

The rest of the story is predictable enough. We went to school. The daily routine of struggling to eat breakfast in the morning, bending over to carry the school bag, struggling to write on the line in class, and finally collapsing on the sofa at home in exhaustion at the end of it all. Most significantly, we stopped asking "Why".
In hindsight, that was the purpose of school. To stop us from asking all those irritating, difficult-to-answer questions. In the race to be the one with the best handwriting, and the first to name all the nine planets (eight, as of today) we concentrated on the has-beens and the "technical details." My school life was largely spent in trying to blend in. So, I became a nobody. A conformist. It took me 2 years in a "hep" college in Bangalore, followed by 4 years in the Rajasthan desert, both environments that offered numerous opportunities, to develop myself. Now, I want to become somebody.

There are, as usual, exceptions to this rule. But that is not the point, right? We want these exceptions to become the rules.

India: From Midnight to the Millennium

2008-05-27T11:28:00.005+05:30

In his portrait of one of the world's most important and interesting countries "India: From Midnight to the Millennium", Shashi Tharoor speaks about "a kind of Indian almost unrepresented in Indian politics."

My kind of Indian.

"There are many of us, but, among India's multitudes, we are few. We have grown up in the cities of India, secure in a national identity than a local one, which we express in English rather than any Indian language. We rejoice in the complexity and diversity of our India, of which we feel a conscious part, we have friends of every caste and religious community, and we marry across such sectarian lines. ... We are secular, not in the sense that we are irreligious or unaware of the forces of religion, but in that we believe religion should not determine public policy or individual opportunity.

And, in Indian politics, we are pretty much irrelevant.

We don't get a look in. We don't enter the fray because we can't win. We tell ourselves ruefully that we are able, but not electable. We don't have the votes, there are too few of us, and we don't speak the idiom of the masses. Instead we have learnt to talk about political issues without the expectation that we will be able to do anything about them."

My feelings exactly. A number of incidents led to this conclusion on my part:

1. When I voted for the first time this May I couldn't help wondering how my kind of vote plays any role. No candidate came to my apartments to campaign, although I did see them "waving the wave" in an adjacent lower income locality. The candidates' promises hardly make any difference to me. I would treat them with a kind of indifference bordering on hostility should they approach me at all. Why am I voting? What difference does it make whether I vote or not??

2. As of Q1 2008, the following two movies were declared box-office hits: Jodhaa Akbar and Race. I had only seen the first and did not think it deserved to be a hit. All my friends who saw Race told me that it takes infidelity to dizzying heights and can easily rank amongst the worst movies ever made. I saw Race later, and although I have seen worse movies, if this is a hit, then God save the world. (Race was obviously not made for someone like me. Come to think of it, which movies in the past were made for someone like me and were box office hits?)

Sometimes I am consumed by a feeling of helplessness, followed by guilt for not having the guts to enter the fray and give back to my country by using my education to provide efficient solutions to lingering problems.

Does writing about it help, I wonder.

Obituary

2008-04-27T19:08:00.004+05:30

When catastrophe strikes, it does not sound a warning bell in advance. And then it hits you so hard, you reel with the force of it. We mourn the death of the Radio.
There must be over 15 FM Radio channels in Bangalore now. The Radio revolution in Bangalore got a much-needed shot in the arm sometime around 2002, with the debut of Radio City 91.1 FM. The FM station started off with playing English songs, and then gradually introduced some Hindi ones as well. Like any smart enterprise, it was giving its target customers what they wanted: good music, that the target market enjoyed listening to. It wasn't long before fundamental elements attacked and ransacked the Radio City office, yelling that they play Kannada songs as well, coz Bangalore is in Karnataka, and Kannada is the official language. Struck with fear, the station started playing Kannada songs.
The story of the rest of the stations is pretty much the same, maybe without the ransacking part in some cases. (The yelling was always there, I tell you. Always.) Today, all the stations play 10 Kannada songs for every 1 non-Kannada song. Now, I have been in Bangalore all my life, and I can tell you with reasonable confidence that the ratio of the Kannada speaking to the non-Kannada speaking population is definitely not in the proportion mentioned above. Also, for any company, the best thing about competition is that it forces you to differentiate yourself, to offer the target customer a melange of music that is unique to the station. Sadly, this is also missing in the existing scenario. All of them play the same songs, the RJs speak in the same fake happy way and worst of all, there is more of talking than music.
For the Radio: May your soul rest in peace.

Just Like That

2008-04-23T18:40:00.003+05:30

The "April Showers" are called so not only because of their timeliness but also because of the short (but intense) rain. At home, I always smell the rain before I hear it. Sitting on a ledge in the balcony, a tree stump in the adjacent plot of land caught my eye. Such a sight has become increasingly common in Bangalore nowadays. This particular stump was a tall and imposing coconut tree, that dared to spread its branches into the neighbour's territory and drop a coconut or two there when time was ripe. It paid for its natural insolence. I will always remember the day it was cut. It put up a good fight. It took upto 6 strong men morning to night to reduce it to the stump it is today. Is it easier to remove a problem rather than solve it? Just like that?

The binding force

2008-04-19T22:52:00.003+05:30

Was flipping through India Today's special edition on 60 Greatest people in India. Most of our freedom fighters top the list (Bhagat Singh, Subash Chandra Bose, Mahatma Gandhi, Sardar Vallabhai Patel..). Bhagat Singh topped the poll, and the editor intepreted the choice to be that of a Young India, who was more daring today and rooting for nationalism more openly than before. I say: Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe Mahatma Gandhi's actions/sayings/principles have been used/misused/abused to such an extent till today that no one is really sure about what he actually said/did. On the other hand, Bhagat Singh's actions have been clearly chronicled, both in literature and on screen (the script writer of the movie The Legend of Bhagat Singh wrote the article on him).

Another striking point I noticed was the politicans of various hues who all came under the umbrella of the Indian National Congress during Colonial Rule. Though they had differing view points on many issues their goal was the same (a Free and Prosperous India) and so this difference in opinion turned out to be a boon rather than a bane. All these freedom fighters were very accomplished and educated. They chose to give up a cushioned and comfortable life for a greater cause. Sadly, this is not the state of politics in India today. The best minds work for private institutions or go abroad. We have become more and more risk-averse. But what is the solution? Maybe the party the IITians have formed is a start. Maybe banning people with criminal records from standing for elections is another start. I am not as brave as those IITians, but I will try to give back in my own way. Being a responsible citizen is definitely a start.

Son of the soil

2008-04-16T23:26:00.005+05:30

I chose to name the post with the cliched phrase purely to highlight how it has been misused today. Sometimes I cannot help wondering if I am incredibly intelligent or if our political representatives are incredibly obtuse.

Education is in need of some serious reforms: accepted
Quality of education, especially in government institutions needs to be improved: accepted
So the logical thing to do is to fix what is not going well, right? But, no! I will go and meddle in the one thing in this entire blessed country that is running as smoothly as a well-oiled clock - the IIMs. To hell with primary education! To hell with producing employable graduates instead of those who have a namesake degree and are unemployable! Son of the soil indeed!!
It also seems stupidly simple to me that apart from caste, economic status must also be considered before reserved seats are allotted, so that the truly needy benefit. But considering that the previous point has been completely missed, I should not be surprised that this point has been missed as well.
I wonder about the long term repercussions of such reservations on the younger generation of OBCs. An OBC candidate gets an IIM seat because of his/her caste even though his/her CAT percentile was much lower than those of the GM category. And here I am talking about a student who is economically well-enough to be supported through private education in one of the premier engineering colleges in Karnataka. This has generated resentment amongst his classmates, who also worked just as hard (an in fact did better than him). In the long run, this can result in further ostracizing of OBCs from mainstream society.

I suppose that my views on politics may seem naive to some. After all, elections and votes are the ultimate leveller and if there is one thing that our politicians do not lack it is focus on this leveller. But I have never understood the reason for this complete apathy towards public interest just to get votes. Do you guys have a conscience or not??

Take me instead!

2008-04-16T23:15:00.003+05:30

This was my instant reaction on hearing reports of Rahul Gandhi becoming PM incumbent. Not only does it show the utter disregard for the existing PM, even comparing a greenhorn like Rahul Gandhi with Dr. Manmohan Singh is blasphemy. I mean, come on guys! Our current PM is one of the most highly educated people we will ever find, and the fact that he has chosen to give back to the country by entering politics speaks a lot for his character. But since Politics is so simply because it doesn't make any sense, I say that if you think Rahul Gandhi will make a suitable PM, let me tell you, "Take me instead!"
Let me see why:
1. I am an ordinary Indian citizen who has seen the situation in India for what it is, without the comfort of a famous surname as well as fashionably breaking security cordons to "meet the people"
2. I have no political affiliations (I think this is more of a positive than a negative)
3. I will take my role more seriously because it was not handed over to me in a silver spoon
4. I would take up the post because I want to use the power to make a difference to the million of lives in India, and not to make money/garner mind share/win elections
I think there are atleast a million people in this country who will fit this bill along with me. So Mr. Rahul Gandhi, you have competition, and how!

It has nothing to do with me!

2008-03-06T02:13:00.004+05:30

There is this comment from the movie "Devil Wears Prada" (one of my favourite movies!), which Melinda Priestly, the intimidating and incredibly successful editor of the fashion magazine Runway, makes to Andrea, her new intelligent and "fat" assistant. "You think this has nothing to do with you. .... It's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when you are wearing a sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room."
I must say that I thought much the same way as Andrea. The movie made me rethink my opinion of the fashion industry. Heck, let's atleast give them credit for all the hard work! But an article that I read today in the paper made me feel disgusted at the commercialization of it all. The article mentioned that 14 and 15 year old girls were more and more in demand today. If you're 20 and a model, you are "old".

It's fine if you are of majority age (18) and you decide to go kill yourself cat walking (well, replacing food with nicotine amounts to pretty much that) but leave the kids alone please! Let them grow up and be emotionally and mentally ready to face the big blaring world. Nothing short of cradle-snatching, this.
The models are called so, because they are just that - "model"! It's the "ideal" thing. When has it ever happened that what you drew on the paper and what ultimately materialized were exactly the same?
To the Donatella's and Gucci's of the world, I bow before your superior creativity and acute business sense (seriously!) But please bear in mind the impact your demanding that "thin" models wear your clothes is having on young impressionable minds.

With all due respect to the multi-billion dollar fashion industry, it has nothing to do with me!!

Rotten Apple

2008-02-06T15:43:00.002+05:30

A school teacher of mine, when referring to the few "naughty" girls who generally gave the whole class a bad name (as being indisciplined, noisy etc), used to call them "bad apples" and say that in a basket of apples, even a few were enough to turn the whole basket of them rotten. This analogy came to my mind when reading about Raj Thakeray's antics.

Amidst all the call for India's youth to enter Indian politics and be the change they want to see in India, the casual eye spots many positives in him. He is young, from a political family (so he is not new to the system) and has a passion for change. But all these positives fell flat against the one quality he was found to be woefully lacking in: sincerity. In trying to "differentiate" himself against other political parties he has only succeeded in creating havoc and damaging public property. He only has, as a newspaper editorial rightly pointed out, "nuisance value".

It's very easy to ask the youth to enter politics and do something for the country. As a career, politics is very volatile and the filth can chase away even the strongest of heart. It is men like Raj Thackeray, who can use their background as an asset to make a mark. Instead they make royal fools of themselves and do more damage than good.

Nuts and Bolts

2008-01-16T16:23:00.000+05:30

There is a machine; one of the biggest machines in one of the biggest factories in the world. It was set up at a time when the world, along with the factory, was 50 years younger.
After it was set up, with its sparkling parts and nuts and bolts, it was the cynosure of all eyes at the factory. People marvelled at its majestic structure as it moved with a quiet hum of efficiency.
Years passed. Everything changed, but the machine didn't. Once the star performer, it was now the laggard, the bottleneck in a factory that had otherwise moved ahead with the times.
The factory manager, a man experienced in the ways of factories and machines, stood before the ailing machine, wondering what to do. He had been ordered by the senior management to spruce up the machine at minimum cost, following complaints that production was getting delayed because of its slow speed.
1. It performed an essential function of the production and so dumping it and getting a brand new one was out of the question.
2. If sold, it will be equivalent to scrap and the new machine will cost hundreds of crores of rupees, which the senior management was not willing to invest in.
3. Identifying the parts that were responsible for the overall slowdown of the machine and replacing them will also not work as spare parts of the machine are no longer available in the market today.
Then the factory manager hit upon an idea. Smiling to himself, he filled out a requisition form for the requirements.

The next day two men appeared, carrying toolboxes bearing the logo and name of the machine manufacturer. As the factory manager watched, they carefully removed all the nuts and bolts of the machine, all dulled by age and some rusted, and replaced them with brand new nuts and bolts. The entire job was done meticulously and efficiently, and was completed in 2 hours.
The factory manager was very satisfied with the work and immediately sat down to write a report on the job, to be submitted to his superiors: "The nuts and bolts, dulled and rusted by age, have been identified as the root cause of the inefiiciency of the machine. They have been duly replaced and therefore the machine can no longer be considered as a bottleneck."

To all those wannabe civil services officers and "I am the change I want to see in India" crusaders, it will be prudent to understand that you are but the nuts an bolts of an ancient machine well past its prime. Far from changing the people holding the administrative machinery together, an overhaul of th entire system is the only sustainable solution.

Till this realisation hits our very educated and accomplished factory manager, we salute your sincere efforts of make a better India.

Dangerous times

2007-12-11T01:26:00.001+05:30

Every time I walk on the road, I can't help watching my back. These are dangerous times. Who knows, another assignment/presentation/screwed up surprise quiz zero/deadline might just be following me! No matter how fast I walk one or all of them almost always manages to catch up with me.

I have tried everything, from working hard, to sleeping it out, but nothing seems to scare them. The day is not far when they will catch up with me. For some time I hoped that they would not find a sleep-deprived, life-deprived b-schooler attractive enough to last (not their target market, you know?) but paradoxically, they want more like me. Boo hoo...

Till we meet next, comrade (all depends on whether I live to see Joyous January..)

The Moment of Truth

2007-11-20T20:58:00.000+05:30

Now I can no longer say that I have not been around Mumbai. We (my friend and I) got more than our share of it yesterday!
The whole plan started off with going to have a proper South Indian lunch (with rice, rasam, payasam et al) at the best place for it in town - Matunga. After speaking to loads of people on how to get there, a friend we were lucky to meet at the Andheri station gave us tickets and suggested that we take a taxi from Dadar station.
By God’s grace (and by the grace of the friend as well) we reached Dadar in one piece. As planned we took a taxi to the decided place. But on reaching there we found that there was no such restaurant! So either we were at the wrong place, or the restaurant had moved! So we decided to walk around and go to any restaurant that looked authentically South Indian.
That turned out to be more difficult than we thought, for we spent the next 30 minutes walking round and round (or so it seemed) before we settled on a Café Madras. It had a long waiting line and that further bolstered our confidence that the food would be good. We were disappointed, though. Firstly, there were no meals. Secondly, the food itself tasted like a diluted version of the original. We next went to yet another “South Indian” place but were again only able to find the usual Rasam Vada and Masala Dosa on the menu. We ate to fill our stomachs and then set off on our journey back.
An uneventful taxi ride brought us back to Dadar station. Having bought a ticket to Andheri, we set off for Platform 1 to board the train. The platform was extremely crowded and when we reached the crowd of ladies (ostensibly the place where the ladies compartment was due to stop) we realized that we were too far from behind to reach the train in time when it arrives on the platform. The train finally rolled into the station and our “moment of truth” arrived. We had to get in, somehow or the other! We managed it, though it involved my almost jumping into the moving train. Once we regained our balance we realized that we were in the first class compartment (for which we did not have tickets)! A co-passenger was kind enough to reassure us, but when she heard our destination she looked confused. She then told us that we were on a train in the Central Line, when we should have boarded a train on the Western Line! Now it was our turn to look confused. Didn't we board the train on Platform 1, as instructed?
With her help we got down at Kurla. Too tired, we decided to take an auto back to Andheri.
It was only when I was narrating our experience to my friends did I realize that Kurla was a good distance away from Andheri, and that we were lucky to get back in such less time!
Whew! …

There's so much filth in there

2007-11-06T13:33:00.000+05:30

I am sure each one of us has either harboured a desire to be a part of the coveted Civil Services cadre or knew someone who did. I count myself in the latter category. When my friend expressed this desire my first question was "Are you sure? But there is so much filth in there!" The bureacracy and the corruption in the system have filled many pockets, and many headlines. But my friend was driven by the fact that through this job, she could help people, reach out to the needy ones. I argued that this could be done through other ways as well, like through NGOs, for example. But this the post that has the power to help and create change, she countered.

Power. I think of it as the entity (next to money) which can drive people to unfathomable lengths. I wouldn't get mixed in it, if I were you.

2007-10-29T19:44:00.000+05:30

In case anyone was wondering, the ET quiz was a disaster :(
Am all the more convinced that reading for a test and reading for knowledge and pleasure are two completely different things!

Drowned in ET

2007-10-29T01:52:00.000+05:30

I don't know whether these ET quizzes are a boon or a bane. Not restricting the "syllabus" to one particular page or a set of pages means that I read the entire paper. And when one does it the way I do (reading all 5 in succession on Friday night, before the quiz on Saturday) all the news about the FDI, FII, PN (Participatory Notes) and the Chidambrams and the McKinseys crying themselves hoarse about India going great guns can get overwhelming.
Right now I can't help feeling that we are in the centre of a tornado, as far as world economy is concerned. According to me, the best part of India's growth story is the dynamism. There is so much change happening, and right in front of our eyes! Goody! :)
It's past 2 am and I can think of atleast 5 other things that I should be doing, rather than blogging. (Going to sleep tops the list :P) But I would not let these urges to write pass me by for anything. It's the sunshine of sanity in an otherwise insane world :)

Enchantee (pronounced on-shon-tay)

2007-10-18T15:56:00.000+05:30

Mumbai has charmed me. And far sooner than I expected! It stinks most of the time, it's over-crowded, and the weather is horrible. On the other hand, there are loads of places to see and loads of fun things to do - of all shapes and sizes and for all income groups. It's a vibrant place - not for nothing it is called the "city that never sleeps"! The people are genuine, and proud to be ordinary. Mumbai has also done the impossible to me - it has made me a compulsive shopper! :-)
As I leaned out of the local train and the wind whooshed past my face, I felt all my tiredness and my worries slip away. It was an exhilerating feeling.
After Bangalore I thought that I would never be able to like any other city. Bangalore seemed perfect in so many ways - the weather mainly, and the fact that I have lived there for most of my life, of course. In Mumbai, I have found perfection of a new kind - one with many imperfections in it.

For the better good

2007-10-14T13:35:00.000+05:30

Someone once said that we in India take one step forward and two steps backward. Our progress was termed remarkable because we were moving ahead inspite of our system and not aided by it. Many found this idea charming. I didn't.
I must admit, though, that lately, I was becoming convinced that my cynicism was unfounded. Considering that we are growing at an average rate of 8.5%, something must be going right!
But there are some things that never change. The Indo-US Nuclear Deal has been put in deep freeze, thanks to the lack of support from the Left. Nuclear Energy as such has its share of proponents and opponents, but I would say that for a 'rapidly growing' country like India, alternate forms of energy is the key to a successful future. The Congress, after deliberations, has concluded that without the Left's support, the UPA Alliance will not be able to form the required majority in Parliament in the event of early polls. The end result: save your backside first, and if there's time, the country.
In my opinion, the present cabinet is one that is far more capable than many others before it. They have disappointed me, at least.
But again, this spineless behaviour is definitely not uniquely Indian. History abounds with instances of responsible goverments who ignored selfish interests and worked for the larger good. They were inevitably voted out of office in the next poll, as a reward for their far sightedness.
The upside is that there will not be early polls. During every election the obscene sums of money that the political parties spend on their campaigns have disgusted me. I can find atleast a 100 other better ways in which the money could be spent! Not to mention the prevalance of goonda raj and poll booth kidnappings in some parts of the country. No, we'd rather do without early polls, thank you very much.
The fact remains however, that we continue to take one step forward and two backward. I am not one to preach about what we should or should not do. All I want to say is, work for the better good of the country, not yourself.

Good Music. Et al.

2007-09-05T01:28:00.000+05:30

God, how I miss it! Was listening to Sadimchene some time back and nostalgia of the good ol' Raag days flooded the mind. All the practice sessions, so much fun :) I can write volumes and yet not do justice..
I listen to music the way I do any other work: with complete attention on it. Maybe that's why I never get time to listen to music here. (I mean, think about it. If you had to choose between anything and sleeping, what would your sleep starved brain tell you??) Well, tonight is an exception. I have the earphones plugged on, and I ploughed through the Carnatic archives.
I am now soaking in the best feeling in the world.

Ambiguity

2007-09-02T12:10:00.000+05:30

One thing that I knew about myself (and which was enforced by all those obscure psychometric tests in OB class) is that I am not comfortable with ambiguity. The information given to me has to be clear and categorical. It's easy to say "Of course, getting all that you want is an ideal case", but in a situation which warrants an important decision, you would want all the information you can get your hands on before you press the button. Unfortunately, this NEVER happens in the real world.The lesson to be learnt here is to learn how to use the (unclear/insufficient) information given to us to the maximum possible extent, and make logical inferences and conclusions.

Ambiguity rules!

Into a gaping hole

2007-08-27T12:02:00.000+05:30

This is what happens when, deviod of empathy and a listening ear, all the thoughts and turmoil get locked deep inside the heart, creating a virtual explosion. I walk in no particular direction; it doesn't make a difference beacuse I can't see where I am going. Every time I try harder than the last time, and fall down harder. Like a foolish moth attracted to the flame, I singe myself, time and again.This is when I realise that I have learnt nothing from my past mistakes. Far from making me stronger, they have only accumulated and caught dust in the mind.I don't know how long I am going to wander aimlessly thus. I just await the end of the tunnel. Hopefully. Sometime. Life will be what it once was.

Why!!

2007-08-09T21:43:00.000+05:30

According to the law of nature, the careful and the prudent are rewarded with good health. In a heart-breaking and tragic way, I am an exception to this rule. I eat all 3 meals heartily (sometimes more than heartily) and on time, I never drink anything cold, and I have never got wet in the rain till today. But, when the sun shines on one day and it pours sheets the next, my sneeze is the first to be heard in the corridors. A whiff of the flu or illness and I run to the doctor,and return armed with a bunch of tablets, ready to drive the virus out of my body. I "sleep it through", as vigorously advised by friends and family alike. Today is Day 4 of this painful schedule, and I am no better than I was when I first visited the doctor. More than the illness, what is getting to me is all the classes and assignment work that I am missing. As I sleep through each day the backlog piles up. Here I am, not able to complete all that I am supposed to do in a day, and now I also have the backlog to clear! Sometimes I get so fed up, I just want to pretend that I am ok and get on with life. To hell with the cold, cough and the fever. Sooner or later the virus will slink away, ashamed at the lack of attention. If only it was that straightforward. The illness has weakened me a lot physically, so much so that just going to the mess for meals tires me out completely. Lousy sense of timing. Lousy sense of humour (DEFINITELY!) Lousy life! :(

Read, Read, Read

2007-08-01T16:43:00.000+05:30

Just completed the fourth day of the first trimester, and my first day of not sleeping through a single lecture. ;) The amount of reading that I am supposed to be doing everyday, I can spend the rest of my life doing that! And here, apart from the classes, assignments and "managerial roles in an administrative context" :D, sleeping and eating (two vital functions that are first priority) I have to read the paper, a couple of magazines atleast (not including HBR), the textbooks for the 9 courses that we will be doing in the next 10 weeks, and other management books. So how many more hours do I need in a day?... I don't know!

I cannot possibly be without mentioning PG Lab, where the entire 160+ of us and some faculty went to Lonavla. It was 4 days of incredible fun, 4 days of meeting countless interesting and extremely nice people, 4 days of being together as a batch throughout. We got to know each other in a way that would never have been possible in the 2 years here at SP. And the learnings! (oops..) Lots and lots of them. Both on paper and through experiences :)

The whistle has blown. The wheels creak into motion slowly, belying the speed they are soon to reach once they catch momentum. In the Train, I hold on to one of the beams for support. We are off!

Runway

2007-07-20T19:40:00.000+05:30

One word headings seem to be the order of the day. And the reason for the seemingly unrelated heading is a particularly nagging preoccupation at this point of time.

I've often wanted to post. But I couldn't think of anything to write. I think this situation can arise in two scenarios: either you don't have anything to say, or you have too much. In my case it's the latter.

Life here has been so absorbing that I barely notice the days pass by. I have just started to connect back to the outside world - friends who are now scattered all over the country. Sometimes I feel exhilerated when I think of my environment and all that I could possibly achieve, if I tried. The opportunities are available.Sometimes I feel trapped by the numerous testsand assignments and the daily relentless grind of classes. On most days the first thing I do when I get back to the room is to crash on the bed, for as little time or as long as my schedule permits. I feel exhausted by the end of the day.

At one point of time I had wanted this blog to be a journal of sorts of my life here at SP, but then I realised that I cannot do justice to it by writing about it. Such a life only has to be experienced.

New friendships are developing, in various types and speeds. I am optimistic that we will form life long bonds :)

Finally!

2007-07-01T18:06:00.000+05:30

I never knew when this day would come, and I am glad that it is finally here. It's been .. over 10 days since I joined SPJIMR, but it feels like years. Maybe it's because of the rousing welcome we got from the seniors. Maybe it's because of the schedule, which kicked off at full speed from the moment we arrived.

One major reason for this delay is that half of us here have not got our laptops yet. In the past week I've found it to be a critical part of the learning in the classroom and out of it, and most importantly it is the vital connection to the outside world. Not having one is a serious handicap.

I am currently staying in a building that is dwarfed by the numerous ones around it. The biggest and singlemost advantage of my hostel is its location. It's barely 30 seconds from the college and another minute from the mess, thanks to which I can get around despite the horrible Mumbai rains. Otherwise I feel like a caged bird. I look out of the balcony and see another (taller) building barely a foot away. That's it. That is all that is there, as far as the eye can see :(

Classes are interesting, but understanding-wise I falter between completely blank and a very very vague idea of the proceedings. The subjects have no relation whatsoever to my background. I am learning a new a-b-c. Let's hope that things get better with time.

I'm glad I am in a city, after four years in the middle of nowhere. Of course, Pilani has its advantages, but the lack of connectivity and some basic amenities gets to you after a while. I haven't ventured too far out yet, but am looking forward to discovering a city that many say "grows on you".

Six months at home sweet home has made me more attached to it than I realised. For a "seasoned" hostelite, I still miss home at times. The yawning distance and the impossiblity of meeting people dear to you is difficult to handle. Yet another thing which I hope time will heal.

Tree, tell me a story!

2007-06-13T23:28:00.000+05:30

Someone has to keep up with Bangalore's phenomenal growth, and who to bear the brunt but the trees! For the discerning, I have not used the wrong pronoun. To me trees are more than logs of wood. If I could have been a comic character (hey, that's another idea for a post! :)) I would have chosen Dogmatix in this case. Dogmatix (Obelix's dog in the comic strip Asterix and Obelix. If ever there was humour in this world, it is this, it is this, it is this :D) loves trees, and howls his heart out in grief every time one is found cut. I feel pretty much the same grief when I see one felled/uprooted.

In Bangalore City most of the trees (still surviving, by the grace of God) are around 40-50 years old. Imagine all that they have seen in their lifetime! Imagine the stories they could tell.

Trees are old, and wise. Sit in the shade of a tree one day, and hear its Story.

P.S. The reason for the sudden spate of blogging - clearing the backlogs! :P

Come away with me

2007-06-13T23:14:00.000+05:30

It took another day of "amazing" weather to feel like "Belonging" again. And this time it was right. I'll be leaving soon. For a new life, with new goals and new people to achieve them with. There is lots more that I am taking away with me now than I did four years ago. I am not much into Western Music, but I remember the few lines of "Come Away With Me" by Norah Jones that I had heard a couple of years ago. Today it seems the right song to sing. This is what I want to tell all the people - parents, friends, and of course my teddy bear :) Come away with me...

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

2007-06-13T23:05:00.000+05:30

This post is dedicated to that part of my life where I finally found what I had never believed existed, atleast for me - a deep, cemented friendship which I know, in my heart, will last lifelong. In that room in a quiet suburb with my friends, I felt at peace. At peace with the fact if I ever need a patient ear or a shoulder to cry on, one is available a phone call away, any day, any time. At peace with the fact that I'm not the only one who fights (and ultimately makes up) :P with my near and dear ones. At peace with the fact that while all of us are playing Life's games on different courts, we are bound to cross each others' at some time or the other.
Till we meet again.

Longing. And Belonging

2007-05-03T17:26:00.000+05:30

Finally, something other than my work has made me want to blog!

I've known all day today that the weather was amazing. I couldn't resist taking a short walk outside my office building for some time, and I tell you, it's a crime to be inside! Cloudy sky, gentle breeze, air heavy with the smell of earth and the impending rain. Breathe deeply and you feel light and free, just for a moment :)

This kind of weather always makes my heart long for something, and the funny thing is, I don't know what. Considering the years that I was away from home, I thought that I longed for it - the comfort of the sofa, the cuddle of my teddy bear, or the warmth of my blanket. But today, I am at home, or as close as I can get, rather. And the beautiful weather still makes my heart ache, like as if something is missing in my life, something fulfilling. Strange..

Thoughts apart, if you're in Bangalore today, don't miss the weather for anything in the world!

BRAND

2007-04-23T10:24:00.000+05:30

Some more wise words from my unlikely inspiration, this time, on what “brand” means:

“The saying goes, "a brand is a promise." On a personal level, I've always felt that statement was incomplete. A promise is the lowest common denominator of a brand - it's what people expect. Think of your favorite brand, whether search engine or sneaker or coffee shop or free software, and you'll know what I mean - a brand is an expectation. If you experience anything less, you're disappointed.”

I distinctly remember the time one of the candidates in my group was asked to define a brand in an interview. According to him, a brand was a set of positive (or negative) associations that were made with an entity – a product, a service, or even a person. It consists if certain qualities, some things that come to mind when that entity's name is taken. He continued to define himself as a brand, in terms of qualities and abilities, and that of an institute as well, expressing some of the ideals that it stood for. I thought it was a brilliant answer. It was only when I read the above blog that I realised that there is much more to this now-ambiguous-sounding word. And this knowledge/realisation comes with experience. I wonder, in the new world that I going to in a couple of months, how much knowledge will be realised into experience?

Round and Round

2007-04-13T15:43:00.000+05:30

Round and Round goes the Merry-Go Round,
As the world whirrs and whirrs.
Recognise the same swivelling chairs,
The same people hunched over their screens,
As the world whirrs and whirrs.
Recognise the “lame ducks”,
The same errors on trying to execute different files,
As the world whirrs and whirrs.

Um, Did I say merry?
I can't believe that I have been driven to write something like this!!

Sometimes..

2007-03-28T17:18:00.000+05:30

Has it ever happened to you that at one point of time you feel very strongly about something, but then later you wonder why you even bothered to think about it in the first place? The following two issues mean so less to me now that I'm not even able to word them satisfactorily.

“I am because you are”
I was asked: What comes to your mind when you hear this statement?
My answer and thought stressed on the opinion that our character and personality are significantly affected by our environment – society, our family and elders. Maybe this is because I am largely a product of my environment. I owe everything that I am to the kind of city I come from, to my parents (who took all the right decisions for me at crucial times in my life) and all the values/opinions that I have inculcated from them.

“Lame Duck”
The best way to explain this is that when you are at the last rung of the ladder whatever everyone throws at you from above falls on you. By virtue of being junior in both age, experience and consequently knowledge I am the Chosen One to execute all the dud, sure-to-end-nowhere tasks. It's frustrating because I end up wasting time and energy, only to realise (or be told) later that I should stop working on it as it is heading nowhere. Worse, I lose motivation to work. Why do the task when I know that it is going to be a lame duck?

Big Bully

2007-03-08T19:48:00.000+05:30

Who? Doordarshan

Why? Because they are use legislations and laws to make up for their inefficiency

What? Passed a legislation so that Nimbus (the company that runs Neo Sports Channel currently has rights to telecast all cricket matches in India till 2010) will be forced to share live telecast feed with Doordarshan for all the matches that it airs without encryption. This not only means loss of valuable revenue within India, but the lack of encryption also makes the telecast vulnerable to usage by other channels outside India.

Or take the presidents of IOA (Indian Olympic Federation) and the All-India Football Federation. The current presidents have been holding their posts for more than 15 years each. Yet, India is ranked 132 among 137 countries that play football. And we can count the number of medals India has won in Olymics in the past 15-odd years on our fingers. One wonders – do these officials ever feel accountable, if not to the country or their job, then atleast to themselves? All they have done during their tenure is to amass a disproportionate amount of wealth, and abuse their power. In my opinion, the recent Bill on reservation in educational institutions was also an effort to this end – abuse of power. The politician in question was probably thinking that this would be the sure shot way of coming back in the limelight. After all, how many of us even knew he existed before the Reservation furore?

I wholeheartedly agree with the Supreme Court judge who said “Everyone wants to loot this country. The only solution is to hang some corrupt persons from the lampost”. I would think that when it comes to politics, rather than people getting corrupted by the power in it, it is the corrupted who get attracted to the power.

Disillusionment.

What did i say..

2007-03-07T11:38:00.000+05:30

"I've always likened mails with the people who sent them. They always come out exactly how a person talks somehow. But it is different with you. I guess it might be cause we've known each other better. The problem might arise somehow when one of us starts liking one part better over the other.
On second thoughts it might be that the mails don't inherently have a stamp of their writers but that personality is added by the reader. It acquires the quality the reader identifies with the sender, maybe the one quality he/she likes the most. In that case yours enthuses warmness in me. :) "

What did I say about the power of words?

Smell the flowers

2007-03-02T12:12:00.000+05:30

It took an offhand invitation to a friend for a get-together (followed by a predictable refusal to join) for me to realise that I've been too involved in my life (and in myself) to stop and smell the flowers. There are so many other things that I should do to make my life complete. Being too busy to think about it is just an excuse. I spend my weekends being (and feeling) incredibly lazy, as if to make up for all the 'hard work' that I did all week. I want to spend those couple of days catching up with everyone I haven't kept in touch with, but at the same time I want to spend them at home. If I could just walk out of office right now, with the whole day at my disposal, this is what I would do:
1. Drop in at my Music teacher's house. She has moulded my singing to what it is today, and I haven't met her in ages.
2. Walk down those narrow roads that I grew up in, the roads I took to school, to my grandparents' place years ago and to all those classes.
3. Surprise that friend by landing up at her office, and we can spend lunch catching up with each other.
4. Sometimes, just being with somebody is enough; what you do together is inconsequential
5. Get hold of a good novel to read (and definitely finish reading it!)
6. Get myself a new phone, I've been trying to decide on the model for months
7. Sing my heart out, and do all the other things that are such an integral part of my life :)
8. Parks, lawns, or any open green area for that matter is hard to come by in this concrete jungle. If I ever come across such an area I would walk barefoot on the grass, lie down on the lawns and let nature's therapeutic effects wash over me.

Talk talk

2007-02-22T16:43:00.000+05:30

I am a strong believer in the power of words. Words put beautifully can impress, can enliven the atmosphere and most importantly, they express an aspect of your personality. A stray word said in anger or frustration can hurt, and like an accident, the damage is already done, and nothing you do or say after that is going to undo the effect. The thought is depressing, and makes you realise just how powerful language can be. Words are like Clay. With a clump in your hand the shapes that you can make out of it are almost infinite. It is natural for any mind to visualize creating complicated figures out of that clump. After all, that will show your skill, right? Firstly, doing is not as easy as thinking. Secondly, time and experience with moulding Clay will tell you that the most beautiful creations are the ones that are simplest in design, because they are created with clarity of thought. Ergo, it's easy to complicate matters. Keeping it simple is difficult!

It is widely acknowledged that no words can express emotions felt very strongly-like love, anger, grief, happiness and separation. Then, all that is felt is the ache in the heart, the tear in the eye, or both. This makes me think that language is a more developed version of the primitive experiences (read:emotions). It is all very fine for it to sound good when read out, but do the words do justice to the intensity?
Then again, words are an experience by themselves :)

So blogging isn't an infatuation after all..

Goldfish

2007-02-21T17:55:00.000+05:30

A typical software company office layout can be pictured as numerous little glass bowls, each bowl signifying a person in a cubicle. A goldfish in a bowl is not aware of any world outside the bowl. Similarly, it is very easy for all the high-tech goldfish to be complacent in the thought that they are making invaluable contributions to the Network every day. They may say: a small screw tightened in a big machine is a problem solved and a future disaster averted, no matter how big or how small. True. But the larger question remains: how do you feel about it? What do you feel, as you hold the screwdriver in your hand, and watch as the miniscule part in the gigantic machine moves quietly, just as it should? Happy? Contented? Relieved? Or thoughtful? Or excited, at the thought that all these small screws must get together somewhere to form bigger screws. Imagine, if tomorrow, you could be tightening the bigger screws and also instructing how the smaller screws should be tightened. Who knows, tomorrow you might just be controlling the gigantic machine! The possibilities are limitless. Then maybe, even from within the glass bowl, the possibilities are limitless.

2007-02-21T13:55:00.000+05:30

If someone had asked me a week ago if I would ever blog, the answer would have been a resounding NO. My life is a closed Book, and I open it only to those I choose. Before I tell you which part of my Book this blog is, let me tell you what it isn't. It isn't the preface, the chapters themselves, or even the epilogue. This blog is the story between the lines of the book, the times I'm lost in thought when the pages are turning, the times I'm blogging when I'm supposed to be working ;) and the times I want to connect with only myself.

I'm prone to fancies and impulsive decisions just like everyone else, and given time, I usually test any such decision by sleeping over it. So, if there are further blogs, this is a decision. Otherwise, it never was.

Oh, and I owe this post to a very unlikely source of inspiration.