Into a gaping hole

This is what happens when, deviod of empathy and a listening ear, all the thoughts and turmoil get locked deep inside the heart, creating a virtual explosion. I walk in no particular direction; it doesn't make a difference beacuse I can't see where I am going. Every time I try harder than the last time, and fall down harder. Like a foolish moth attracted to the flame, I singe myself, time and again.This is when I realise that I have learnt nothing from my past mistakes. Far from making me stronger, they have only accumulated and caught dust in the mind.I don't know how long I am going to wander aimlessly thus. I just await the end of the tunnel. Hopefully. Sometime. Life will be what it once was.

Why!!

According to the law of nature, the careful and the prudent are rewarded with good health. In a heart-breaking and tragic way, I am an exception to this rule. I eat all 3 meals heartily (sometimes more than heartily) and on time, I never drink anything cold, and I have never got wet in the rain till today. But, when the sun shines on one day and it pours sheets the next, my sneeze is the first to be heard in the corridors. A whiff of the flu or illness and I run to the doctor,and return armed with a bunch of tablets, ready to drive the virus out of my body. I "sleep it through", as vigorously advised by friends and family alike. Today is Day 4 of this painful schedule, and I am no better than I was when I first visited the doctor. More than the illness, what is getting to me is all the classes and assignment work that I am missing. As I sleep through each day the backlog piles up. Here I am, not able to complete all that I am supposed to do in a day, and now I also have the backlog to clear! Sometimes I get so fed up, I just want to pretend that I am ok and get on with life. To hell with the cold, cough and the fever. Sooner or later the virus will slink away, ashamed at the lack of attention. If only it was that straightforward. The illness has weakened me a lot physically, so much so that just going to the mess for meals tires me out completely. Lousy sense of timing. Lousy sense of humour (DEFINITELY!) Lousy life! :(

Read, Read, Read

Just completed the fourth day of the first trimester, and my first day of not sleeping through a single lecture. ;) The amount of reading that I am supposed to be doing everyday, I can spend the rest of my life doing that! And here, apart from the classes, assignments and "managerial roles in an administrative context" :D, sleeping and eating (two vital functions that are first priority) I have to read the paper, a couple of magazines atleast (not including HBR), the textbooks for the 9 courses that we will be doing in the next 10 weeks, and other management books. So how many more hours do I need in a day?... I don't know!

I cannot possibly be without mentioning PG Lab, where the entire 160+ of us and some faculty went to Lonavla. It was 4 days of incredible fun, 4 days of meeting countless interesting and extremely nice people, 4 days of being together as a batch throughout. We got to know each other in a way that would never have been possible in the 2 years here at SP. And the learnings! (oops..) Lots and lots of them. Both on paper and through experiences :)

The whistle has blown. The wheels creak into motion slowly, belying the speed they are soon to reach once they catch momentum. In the Train, I hold on to one of the beams for support. We are off!